Cars And Car Reviews

Every time I see a Toyota Prius I want to vomit. The Prius screams dork more than white tape wrapped glasses and a pocket protector ever did. If Toyota ever wanted to design a hideous car, they truly succeeded in the Prius.

Growing up in and being interested in cars in the late 60’s and early 70’s could have been one of the best times to be alive for an American car enthusiast. The muscle car era was in full swing with trophy beauties like the 1969 Camaro, 1970 Cuda and the 1970 Chevelle. The days of cheap gas, real cars from Detroit and rock music made life as a teen quite enjoyable.

We were then hit with the dark days of the mid 70’s and the first inklings of environmentalist nonsense. The rubber hose was introduced by Detroit as a pollution control system and it seemed as if the clean engine compartment of a small block Chevy went from large enough to almost live in to a Medusa under the hood. It was like a mystery house under your hood with hoses seemingly going nowhere.

Fast forward to today and you have the evolution of the rubber hose in the Toyota Prius. Let’s keep the polar ice caps from melting with a geek car and let’s make it look so much like a geek car that nobody but geeks will buy it. Put some decent rims on the thing, give it some flared fender wells, please, make it look like something other than a college experiment from the engineering school.

Our leaders tell us we need cars like this because us humans are such a threat to the planet. So to prove that global warming is such a threat, Mr Global Warming himself, Al Gore, shows up at Berkley last October in a Toyota Prius. The problem with that show was that Gore’s motorcade included two limos, three motorcycles and a Dodge truck. I assume they needed the truck to carry all of hypocrisy.

So my theory holds:

Toyota Prius = Dork
Dork = Al Gore

Even if every car in the United States were replaced by the Prius, Al Gore would still be a dork, the polar ice caps would still be melting because of the natural cycles of the planet and sun and Toyota would be even richer. Oh yea, and Al Gore would still be a dork. I think that’s worth saying again.

I think I’m going to buy a Corvette so the next time I see one of these little dorkmobiles on the road I can race around it to get home quickly, get in my Hummer and play monster truck rally with the Prius coming the other way. I really do hate the Toyota Prius!

Alan

Tags: toyota prius, al gore, global warming, pollution, corvette, hummer

This entry was posted on Monday, February 19th, 2007 at 6:48 am and is filed under Cars. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.